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Dealing with defensive behaviors

by James
(San Antonio, TX)

Touchy people are incredibly difficult to communicate with. As her boss, I am up against a wall with one particular employee who seems to turn off when I needed to give her corrective feedback.

I am a good leader. And I like to think I am a reasonable guy, easy to approach.

I get a little progress when I enter the conversation with clear openings about the fact that I need to tell her something. But it seems to come back to the same finish - she blurts something defensive out and I cannot get past the real feedback that I need to give her.

Any help appreciated.

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Aug 19, 2015
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by: Anonymous

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Aug 19, 2015
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absoluteessays.com | online essay writing company: Recognize manipulative practices. Controllers are great at what they do: controlling others. Their strategies shift, yet the objective are dependably to get the controlled to do what the controller needs. Manipulative practices can incorporate undermining, complimenting, giving you blame or belittling you. They may keep you alternating so as to speculate between abundances of friendship and appeal and coldness or displeasure. On the off chance that you regularly feel focused on and angry when managing somebody, you may be enmeshed in a manipulative relationship.

Jun 03, 2009
defensive behaviors
by: Chris

James,

as a leader, there is coaching, understanding and then there is "tough love". What I mean is, I think you are at the point of sitting down, one to one, not behind your desk but beside the persone and get it out:

Challenge his/her attitude, dig deeper, understand, but remember: people are watching you manage the behavior, it doesn't mean you must give in to avoid outbursts, you must use empathetic discipline.

Chris
Montreal, Canada

Mar 13, 2009
Keep feedback coming
by: Diane

Hi James - I have found that the best way to deal with defensive behaviors is to constantly give the person feedback. Don't be swayed by emotional outbursts. Instead, do what you have to do to deliver the message and get her to engage.

Sooner or later, she will realize that her emotional reactions are not making a difference. (Maybe later ... but what is your choice anyway?)

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